Manners guides
Please and thank you
How to make please and thank you a natural habit from age 2, without nagging.
Ages 2 to 12
Please and thank you are usually the first manners children learn, from about age 2. By 4 or 5 most kids say them on their own when the adults around them use them every day.
Try this week with your kids
Noki suggests a first week of quests and rewards for your kids. You change what you like before you start.
Why it matters
These 2 words show respect and gratitude. They change how people respond to kids, and they open the door to every other manner.
What to expect by age
- Age 2
- Hear please and thank you all day from grown-ups.
- Try their first 'please' or a sign for it.
- Ages 3 to 4
- Say please when asking and thank you when receiving, with gentle prompts.
- Ages 5 to 6
- Say them without a prompt at home, at school and in stores.
- Ages 7 to 8
- Use fuller phrases: 'Could I please...' and 'Thank you for...'
- Ages 9 to 10
- Thank people for their time and help as well as for things.
- Ages 11 to 12
- Express thanks in their own words, in person or in writing.
Ways to practice
- Model it with your kids: thank them for their help.
- Pause and smile when they forget, instead of asking for the magic word.
- Notice and praise it out loud when they say it on their own.
Common mistakes
Withholding things until they say please.
Try instead: A pause and a smile works better and keeps it friendly.
Expecting thank you for every small thing.
Try instead: Aim for real moments of help or kindness.
