Manners guides
Sharing and taking turns
Why sharing is hard for little kids, and how turn-taking makes it easier.
Ages 2 to 8
Sharing is hard for toddlers because they are still learning that others have feelings too. Turn-taking with a timer works from age 2 or 3, and most kids share more easily by 5 or 6.
Try this week with your kids
Noki suggests a first week of quests and rewards for your kids. You change what you like before you start.
Why it matters
Sharing and turn-taking help kids play together, make friends and handle the feeling of waiting.
What to expect by age
- Age 2
- Practice 'my turn, your turn' with a grown-up.
- Keep a few special toys put away before friends visit.
- Ages 3 to 4
- Use a sand timer for turns.
- Ask 'Can I have a turn when you finish?'
- Ages 5 to 6
- Take turns in games without a timer.
- Offer to share without being asked.
- Ages 7 to 8
- Share fairly in a group and include others.
Ways to practice
- Play turn-taking board games as a family.
- Put away 2 or 3 special toys before a playdate so they do not have to be shared.
- Praise the moments when sharing goes well.
Common mistakes
Forcing a child to hand over a toy right now.
Try instead: Use turns: they finish, then pass it on.
Comparing kids who share with kids who do not.
Try instead: Talk only about the behavior you want to see.
