Chores for teens: real responsibility from 13 and up

By 13, most young people have the physical and mental skills to do nearly every job in the house. What changes in the teenage years is the negotiation. Teens want autonomy, have full schedules and are very good at pointing out when something is unfair.

That is an opportunity. Chores in the teen years can stop being "helping out" and become practice for running a home of their own, which is exactly the kind of independence teenagers say they want.

Why chores still matter at this age

Homework, sport and friends fill a teenager's week, and it is tempting to drop chores to protect their time. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against that: busy schedules are not a reason to skip household responsibilities, which continue to build organization and life skills (AAP, HealthyChildren.org).

There is a longer view too. A landmark study that followed 1,000 children from birth to age 32 found that self-control in childhood predicted adult health, finances and wellbeing, even after accounting for intelligence and family background (Moffitt and colleagues, 2011). Chores are 1 of many small, daily places where teens practice doing something they would rather skip because it needs doing.

How many chores should a teenager have?

There is no official number. A workable rule for most families is 1 daily responsibility, such as the dishes or pet care, plus 1 or 2 bigger weekly jobs, adjusted around exams and sport. For the years just before, see chores for 11 and 12 year olds. What matters more than the count is that the jobs are real, owned by the teen and done without a reminder most of the time.

Chores for teens by skill level

Everyday jobs

• Load and unload the dishwasher, or wash up after dinner
• Keep their bedroom and bathroom in a reasonable state
• Take out the bins and recycling
• Feed and walk pets
• Wipe kitchen surfaces after cooking

Bigger weekly jobs

• Do their own laundry from washing to putting away
• Change their bed sheets
• Vacuum and mop shared rooms
• Clean a bathroom properly, including the toilet
• Cook 1 family dinner a week, from planning to washing up

Life skills to build before they leave home

• Plan a weekly menu and write a shopping list on a budget
• Do a grocery run, alone or online
• Iron a shirt and sew on a button
• Change a light bulb and reset a tripped fuse
• Clean the fridge and check use-by dates
• Book an appointment by phone

That last group rarely appears on chore charts, and it is often what young adults say they wish they had learned earlier.

A printable teen chore checklist

Copy this list, tick the jobs your teen owns and stick it inside a cupboard door:

• 1 daily job: dishes, pet care or tidying a shared room
• Own laundry, once a week
• Bed sheets, every 1 or 2 weeks
• 1 shared room cleaned each week
• 1 family meal a week, from shopping list to washing up
• 1 new life skill a month from the list above
• Plan the school week on Sunday evening

Hand over areas instead of tasks

Younger kids do well with specific tasks ("clear your plate"). Teens respond better to ownership of an area with a clear outcome: "You are in charge of the kitchen after dinner on weeknights. That means the table is clear, the dishwasher is running and the counters are wiped by 9."

Ownership has 3 advantages. It removes the need for you to supervise each step. It lets them decide how and when, within limits. And it mirrors adult responsibility, where nobody tells you to wipe the counter.

Negotiate the when, keep the what

Teens push back hardest when they feel controlled. You can give a lot of room on timing ("before 9", "any day before Sunday evening") while keeping the job itself fixed. This respects their schedule and still gets the work done.

Family meetings help. A short weekly check-in where everyone, teens included, looks at the week ahead and swaps jobs around exams or matches is more effective than ad hoc requests. Our guide to family meetings has a simple format.

Talking about fairness

Teenagers have a finely tuned sense of fairness. If a younger sibling seems to get away with less, expect to hear about it. Be transparent: explain that jobs grow with age and that the 8 year old will do the same jobs when they are older. If there is a gap between what you ask of a son and a daughter, they will notice that too, and so should you.

Research on families has linked a more equal division of household work between parents with better sibling relationships (Dawson and colleagues, 2014). Teens notice what adults model.

Money and teens

Many families start paying for extra jobs in the teen years. A simple rule set:

• Everyday family jobs are unpaid. Everyone who lives here helps.
• Extra jobs beyond the usual (washing the car, a big garden clear-out, babysitting younger siblings for an evening) can be paid at an agreed rate.
• Pocket money, if you give it, is for learning to manage money and is not withdrawn as a punishment.

Many families also move to monthly pocket money in the teen years and add a clothing budget once a teen can plan a month. The pocket money calculator gives typical amounts by age, and our article on pocket money basics goes deeper into amounts, teen budgets and a simple written agreement.

Chores and the first phone

A first phone often arrives in the same years, and it is tempting to trade it for chores. Keep the 2 separate: the phone is a decision about age, readiness and family rules. Advice varies by country; Sweden's Public Health Agency, for example, recommends waiting until 13 for a smartphone. Our guide to screen time rules compares the guidance and helps you write a family deal.

When it is not working

If your teen consistently avoids responsibility at home and also struggles at school, it can be worth a conversation with your doctor, as the AAP suggests. Most of the time, though, the issue is everyday friction, and these steps help:

1. Pick a calm moment to talk. Never in the middle of a mess.
2. Ask what would make it easier for them. Timing? A different job? Music while they work?
3. Agree on 1 consequence for jobs not done, and apply it calmly, without a lecture.
4. Notice and thank them when jobs are done without a reminder.

Make it visible

A shared list that everyone can check reduces reminders for teens too. Kidventures lets older kids see their jobs, tick them off and track what they have earned, while you approve from your phone. Our chore chart maker builds a printable version in a minute. For younger siblings, see our list of chores by age or browse the chore library.